Firebreather
by Apakoha
Summary: Writing meme snatched from Scribbler. A study of Leon; what's changed since he left Radiant Garden ten years ago? "Tell me, are you free? In word or thought or deed? Tell me, are you free when the fear falls on you?"


_Pick a character, pairing, or fandom you like, turn on your music player and put it on random/shuffle, then write a ficlet related to or inspired by each song that plays. You only have the time frame of the song to finish; you start when the song starts, and stop when it's over. _

I totally went over the time limit. There's no way I can write 1100 words in under five minutes.

**Squall/Leon - Firebreather, Thrice**

Leon woke with a start, seeing only the ceiling. He didn't make any noise and there were no tears, as befitting a strong, independent warrior like himself. With only a deep sigh to reveal his inward emotions, he sat up and pulled the blankets off of himself. He wasn't going to get any more sleep tonight.

He grimaced when he saw the clock. Four in the morning. This was going to be a long day.

It hadn't even reached the darkest part of the night. Alone in his bedroom, Leon decided to walk around. The walls and floors in the building they had made their home were too thick for him to disturb anyone else. Leon stared upwards at the stars, wishing he could feel happy there was a sky full of them. Wishing he could feel accomplished with what he was doing to help Radiant Garden, wishing he could feel peace.

Unable to get the nightmare out of his head - just like the one the night before and the night before that and before that - he put on his pants and his new light grey jacket (Yuffie had 'lost' his old one, insisting that black was too depressing to wear now that Sora had won and they were home but since white would get too messy from all the blood and sweat and dirt, she bought this one and said it was white but had been pre-dirtied). He grabbed Lionheart and quietly stalked down to the bailey.

He walked through the stone gauntlet, knowing it would only be a few minutes. He unsheathed his gunblade and kept going until he made it to the bottom of the castle. Soon, yellow eyes in the darkness peeked at him from behind corners and under ledges and sinuous white wraiths slowly twisted towards him without any pause. Perfect.

For once, Leon didn't wait for them to surround him and instead, he ran towards them, hefting his blade. After a few minutes of controlled swinging and backing it up with flawlessly timed pulls of the trigger, Leon realized he wasn't exactly top form. Even though he was running on only a few hours of sleep, the numerous cuts, scrapes and developing bruises seemed much more suited to a warrior with half his experience and skill. Even if he had no sleep, Leon should not have been this injured from just a few Heartless and Nobodies.

Taking glances around the bailey in between each opponent, he realized he had killed more than he had thought. Dozens were left, when he had started with at least a hundred. Was he really so out of it? When he slowed down enough to remember why he was out here in the first place, he grunted (the only noise he'd made since he came here) and used his adrenaline, already burning hot, to rip new holes into the sub-human creatures surrounding him.

This time, he couldn't do it. No matter how hard he tried, instead of yellow, he saw blue eyes, brown eyes, green eyes. Familiar eyes. With a strangled yell, Leon threw himself even harder against them. His body danced between them and Lionheart sang through the air, all by instinct, while his mind replayed images of his failures. Cloud, Rinoa, Tifa, Irvine, Godo, Laguna... The list never stopped.

He never noticed how close that Heartless came to his chest, never noticed the barest centimeters between the Nobody's katana and his neck, never noticed how close he came to hacking off his own leg when the most important thing was cutting the memories away from him.

Leon paused for a second in battle to catch his bearings and realized that there was nothing left to fight. Morning had come while he was locked in the prison of his own making. He sheathed Lionheart and held his face in his hands for a few minutes, trying to will enough strength into his legs to walk back to their house back in town. He started walking, not even taking the time to do a self-inventory. His legs trembled slightly during the walk back and the combination of sweat and blood made his clothes stick uncomfortably but he never slowed down.

As he approached the house, he caught signs of activity. Breathing in, he smelled breakfast being made, and tried to arrange his features so he didn't look so stormy. Aerith didn't like seeing him anything approaching angry.

He carefully opened the door, trying to make his entrance as unobtrusive as possible. Yuffie was at the bottom at the stairs, seemingly just about to walk into the kitchen. By accident, he caught her eyes and instantly looked down and away. Awkwardly, they made their way into the kitchen - at the same time, but not together. Leon sat at the head of the table, like always, and soon the table was filled with Yuffie, beside him, Aerith, Cid, Cloud, Tifa, and Merlin. A full house this morning.

Unable to meet their eyes, Leon ignored the others and simply ate whatever what was in front of him. The stilted conversation and the feel of their eyes on him made him wish he was anywhere but here. Why did Yuffie have to put up a fuss about sharing meals together...?

He felt a hesitant hand outline a cut on his shoulder, one of the worst ones. At the contact, Leon jumped and met eyes with Yuffie. She looked at him for a moment and then she went back to his shoulder. Leon followed her eyes and saw his shoulder. Jacket and skin had been shredded, making a horrendous, twisted, bloody mess. Blood came off on Yuffie's fingers but Yuffie shook her head at Leon when he opened his mouth. Without a word, she withdrew her hand, rubbing it to get the blood off but only smearing it more.

"I'll clean it up later," she said and went back to her pancakes.

Leon stared at her. He had nothing to say. He didn't refuse her and he didn't accept; with Yuffie, it was inevitable anyway. He just felt tired now. He looked around the table, how they tried to make the silence more comfortable with conversation, despite the tension surrounding his bruised and bloodied entrance. Sitting around a table, all avoiding each other's eyes, Leon felt like a repulsive beast, trying to fit in with civilized human beings. They were so different from him. Above him.

Bitterly, Leon wished he could let himself cry. Maybe if he did, he could forget the people he'd left behind.


End file.
